This Lullaby...the song
This Lullaby is not only the title of the book, but also a reoccurring symbol throughout the novel. This Lullaby is the name of the song Remy's father ,whom she never met, wrote for her in a hotel room when he found out she was born. Remy doesn't believe in real love after watching her mother fail at 5 marriages,and she has a rule about love to never date a musician. The song is symbolic of Remy's cynical outlook on love as a result of her parents mistakes. We watch Remy falter back and forth with the idea of true love and each time she changes her mind its after she heard the song. She listens to the song alone in her closet on an old Walkman whenever shes heartbroken, or lonely. We see the songs meaning in a new light when one night Dexter is playing guitar for Remy and starts playing "This Lullaby", this moment changes their whole relationship. Remy is bothered by the song, showing she does have a soft side although she is very cynical and tough, and Dexter shows he is understanding, as opposed to the all-fun-and-games person she thought. It also adds a deeper level to their relationship proving their relationship will be something more than the typical fling Remy is used to. When she rejects the song, she is symbolically accepting her pessimistic views on love and relationships. As the book progresses "This Lullaby" causes the demise of their relationship just as it previously strengthened the relationship. When Dexter allows his band, Truth Squad, to play "This Lullaby" for an important talent scout, knowing Remy is in the audience, all her skepticism about true love comes flooding back. She once again accepts the fact that this song will follow her forever, and with the song comes her rejection of true love. Finally to close the novel on a good note, "This Lullaby" once again changes Remy's outlook on love, "Just because my father had left me a legacy that men would let me down didn't mean i had to accept it." (Dessen 304). The day after Remy decides to leave "This Lullaby" behind as she ventures off to college, she decides to give her one love a chance and take Dexter back. The constant rejection and acceptance of "This Lullaby" brings the literal change of heart and she ultimately overcomes her life-long cynical views on love .
Comparison to Brave New world
![Picture](/uploads/2/5/1/2/25125654/3358742.jpg)
The relationship between Remy and Dexter is comparable to the relationship between Bernard and Lenina in Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. In these relationships both characters are complete opposite. Lenina and Dexter are both happy-go-lucky and carefree. They want to have fun and make light of their problems, for Lenina this is because she takes soma and is conditioned to be carefree and happy, for Dexter it is just his personality. Remy and Bernard are similarly characterized in that both are more pessimistic; however, Remy has cynical ideas about rather love exists or not, Bernard is more critical of the loss of real love in his world. Remy thinks love isn’t real because she hasn’t ever seen or experienced love in each of her mother’s failed relationships, this means Remy like Lenina too, because she too has never experienced real love, and doesn’t know how to feel love. Bernard knows love exists but is frustrated about the loss of love in the world state, like the way Dexter becomes frustrated by Remy’s lack of love. Dexter and Bernard want a real relationship filled with love and feelings, but Remy and Lenina don’t comprehend love because they have never felt it before. So while Remy and Bernard, and Dexter and Lenina, are characterized similarly, Bernard and Dexter, and Remy and Lenina share similar ideas about the outcome of relationships.
The relationships have very different beginnings and outcomes. Remy and Dexter come together because of “fate” according to Dexter. Lenina and Bernard come together because everyone belongs to everyone. Because of this philosophy most relationships don’t develop but their relationship goes farther than most primarily because of the savage they bring back, John. Unlike Bernard and Lenina Remy and Dexter have their ups and downs but overcome them because they are able to think maturely and feel true love, which Bernard and Lenina can't do.
The relationships have very different beginnings and outcomes. Remy and Dexter come together because of “fate” according to Dexter. Lenina and Bernard come together because everyone belongs to everyone. Because of this philosophy most relationships don’t develop but their relationship goes farther than most primarily because of the savage they bring back, John. Unlike Bernard and Lenina Remy and Dexter have their ups and downs but overcome them because they are able to think maturely and feel true love, which Bernard and Lenina can't do.
Is That foreshadowing?
One of the first changes when Don moves in is the large painting of a busty naked woman hung prominently across the kitchen table, where everyone else has to look at it while they eat. Like most normal people (including Remy, and Chris) I find the idea of trying to eat with a portrait of a naked woman repulsive. But is this foreshadowing for the rest of Barbara and Don's relationship? When reading a book its often the small details that prove to be the most important. For example Patty is Don's secretary, she is introduced at the car dealership, again at the wedding and she appears yet again at the picnic. Sarah Dessen wouldn't name, describe, and introduce a character, much less do it three times, if the character wasn't going to be important. Patty will also become important because, she just seems suspicious going into it. Patty is also single, very close to Don, and Remy's mother has a history of bad relationships. Parry is setting off all kinds of warning signs because, come on its plain as day from the start that Barbara and Don have no chance, and who better to step in for Don but the single secretary. Patty disappears for most of the book until you've almost forgotten she existed but don't worry, shes not gone yet. So Patty is going to be important but what about the painting? Well the painting is mentioned multiple times even just in passing, but it never seems to have any significance. But what does this painting tell us about Don's character? The painting characterizes Don's promiscuity and the fact that he hangs it in his kitchen characterizes him as somewhat unfaithful because he hangs a painting of naked woman in his new wife's house. I don't care if he was a bachelor before this marriage, it is not a good sign when a man puts so much value on a painting of a naked woman. It is important to him if he insisted they hang it on the wall in the kitchen where everyone can see it everyday. Patty and Don's painting both come together when Remy finds the photo of Patty posing seductively in just her underwear, in Barbara's bedroom. Finally it all makes sense, Patty is introduced to foreshadow the end of the relationship and the painting foreshadows how the relationship will end. So in the end the small details are the ones that matter most because if you watch out for them they can tell you how the story will end.
Dinner time
I don't know about you but I'm always ready for a good meal. In literature meals bring people together, so when it seems like all they do is eat in a book, well then the characters must keep needing to be brought together. This Lullaby has several examples of meals, more or less, that bring people together.
The Wedding: The wedding obviously brings Don and Barbara together in marriage but the reception has a different effect on Jennifer Anne, Chris's girlfriend, and Remy. Jennifer Anne is very classy and sophisticated. At dinner Remy mentions, that she doubts the marriage will last. Jennifer Anne is disgusted by Remy's disbelief especially at the wedding. Jennifer Anne promptly takes Chris and heads to a table of politicians.
The Picnic: When the picnic starts to fail miserably after the rare Brazilian steaks burn, Remy starts to jump into action, becoming a problem solver instantaneously. Jennifer Anne also knows how to fix a crisis. The two of them meet in the kitchen when both on a mission to fix the disaster. Jennifer Anne was prepared with normal hamburgers and hot dogs and classic mac'n cheese, because fancy food doesn't always beat the classic. Remy begins to see Jennifer Anne in a new way because Remy would expect Jennifer Anne to like all the fancy imported steaks and pasta salads. Remy relates to Jennifer Anne over food because they both believe a picnic should have a classic burger, nothing too fancy.
The Car ride: Remy has strict rules about no food in her car. Dexter needs a ride home one day and brings along his greasy burger and fries. He tests Remy by even putting a fry on the console. Now this isn't a conventional meal but Remy and Dexter become closer because she bent her rules for him.
The Flatware: Flatware isn't a meal at all but bear with me it is necessary in order to eat a meal. Remy contemplates buying flatware for Dexter because she knows they need it but she fears that by giving flatware she is making a commitment to him. She ends up giving him the flatware and he realizes she does love him. This food related item makes a big step in their relationship bringing them together.
Breakfast: Meals at Remy's house become less frequently eaten together, or even in the kitchen at all, after Don hangs his painting over the kitchen table. This lack of communion means they don't come together as much. There is one morning however when Remy and Chris are eating together and they start talking about love. This heart to heart conversation brings Remy and Chris closer.
Ensures: Don doesn't eat breakfast but instead Dessen constantly mentions his Ensures, the milkshake drink in a can that has nutrients. Because he doesn't ever share a meal with Remy, Chris, or even Barbara, he remains somewhat distant from the family.
The Zip Cokes: The zip cokes are the drink Remy, Lissa, Chloe, and Jess, drink every night, usually in someone's car or the old trampoline. The friends bond around their zip cokes talking about their current relationships which are ever changing.
Dinner at Jennifer Anne's: When Remy and Chris eat dinner at Jennifer Anne's house, Remy comes dressed casually which is not appropriate for Jennifer Anne's dinner party. She also embarrasses Chris by asking about the bet they always make about how long the marriage will last. She explains to Jennifer Anne about the long list of marriages. This unconventional dinner party behavior does not impress Jennifer Anne but I think it allows her to see more into Remy as a person and she learns more about Remy at least making her understand Remy better.
The Wedding: The wedding obviously brings Don and Barbara together in marriage but the reception has a different effect on Jennifer Anne, Chris's girlfriend, and Remy. Jennifer Anne is very classy and sophisticated. At dinner Remy mentions, that she doubts the marriage will last. Jennifer Anne is disgusted by Remy's disbelief especially at the wedding. Jennifer Anne promptly takes Chris and heads to a table of politicians.
The Picnic: When the picnic starts to fail miserably after the rare Brazilian steaks burn, Remy starts to jump into action, becoming a problem solver instantaneously. Jennifer Anne also knows how to fix a crisis. The two of them meet in the kitchen when both on a mission to fix the disaster. Jennifer Anne was prepared with normal hamburgers and hot dogs and classic mac'n cheese, because fancy food doesn't always beat the classic. Remy begins to see Jennifer Anne in a new way because Remy would expect Jennifer Anne to like all the fancy imported steaks and pasta salads. Remy relates to Jennifer Anne over food because they both believe a picnic should have a classic burger, nothing too fancy.
The Car ride: Remy has strict rules about no food in her car. Dexter needs a ride home one day and brings along his greasy burger and fries. He tests Remy by even putting a fry on the console. Now this isn't a conventional meal but Remy and Dexter become closer because she bent her rules for him.
The Flatware: Flatware isn't a meal at all but bear with me it is necessary in order to eat a meal. Remy contemplates buying flatware for Dexter because she knows they need it but she fears that by giving flatware she is making a commitment to him. She ends up giving him the flatware and he realizes she does love him. This food related item makes a big step in their relationship bringing them together.
Breakfast: Meals at Remy's house become less frequently eaten together, or even in the kitchen at all, after Don hangs his painting over the kitchen table. This lack of communion means they don't come together as much. There is one morning however when Remy and Chris are eating together and they start talking about love. This heart to heart conversation brings Remy and Chris closer.
Ensures: Don doesn't eat breakfast but instead Dessen constantly mentions his Ensures, the milkshake drink in a can that has nutrients. Because he doesn't ever share a meal with Remy, Chris, or even Barbara, he remains somewhat distant from the family.
The Zip Cokes: The zip cokes are the drink Remy, Lissa, Chloe, and Jess, drink every night, usually in someone's car or the old trampoline. The friends bond around their zip cokes talking about their current relationships which are ever changing.
Dinner at Jennifer Anne's: When Remy and Chris eat dinner at Jennifer Anne's house, Remy comes dressed casually which is not appropriate for Jennifer Anne's dinner party. She also embarrasses Chris by asking about the bet they always make about how long the marriage will last. She explains to Jennifer Anne about the long list of marriages. This unconventional dinner party behavior does not impress Jennifer Anne but I think it allows her to see more into Remy as a person and she learns more about Remy at least making her understand Remy better.
For Better or for Worse
Personally I think Remy and her mother are a lot alike but its not until the end of the novel when Remy even realizes it. When people look at a mother-daugher pair they start looking for physical similarities, but in reading since you cant look for physical similarities I found some similar characteristics. Barbara Starr, Remy's mother, constantly gets married, when the book starts shes beginning marriage number five. Remy dates different guys all the time, she has a reputation for the long list of guys shes dated at one time or another. So both Remy and her mother are falling in and out of love all the time. However Barbara sees each new marriage as a new begining, a chance to start again. Despite all her failed attempts at marriage Barbara still has hope that everything will work out in the end. If things don't work out for her like they have so many times in the past, then at least she had an adventure. Barbara feels happiness at some point in every relationship even if it is just for a little while. Barbara is optimistic about all those relationships that have come and gone. Instead of counting them as failures, she thinks each and everyone of those marriages were worth it just for the good times she had and the happiness she felt.
On the other hand Remy becomes cynical about love. She's watched all her mothers marriages and divorces and uses them as proof that true love is just a myth. Remy dates around a lot because she just wants the fun, but she never actually loves they boy shes dating. To Remy, endings and beginings neither really matter. She dates a guy for a few weeks then when she gets bored or thinks hes about to try to get serious she ends it. Remy has desenzitized herself to the normal emotions of love because she stoped believing in it. Remy thinks love makes you weaker, and that people who fall in love are too vulnerable to geting broken in the end.
Throughout the novel Remy pities her mother. In the same way Barbara pities Remy. Remy thinks her mother is weak and vulnerable. She often wonders what her mom will do when Remy goes to college in the fall. As soon as Remy hears that the fifth marriage failed she immedietly thinks about her mother and how distraught she must be. Remy feels like she has to defend her mother. Remy tries to take control of the situation, she springs into action ready to call the lawyer and freeze the bank account, but Barbara stops her. Barbara is okay. While Remy focuses on another failure, Barbara tells her that shes okay. For Barbara, marriage wont last forever, but forever isn't important to her anymore she just cares about the love they had. Remy finally realizes that love is about the happy times and the sad times, literally for better and for worse. Remy realizes after all these years of feeling sorry for her mother really she was the one missing out. Love doesnt
On the other hand Remy becomes cynical about love. She's watched all her mothers marriages and divorces and uses them as proof that true love is just a myth. Remy dates around a lot because she just wants the fun, but she never actually loves they boy shes dating. To Remy, endings and beginings neither really matter. She dates a guy for a few weeks then when she gets bored or thinks hes about to try to get serious she ends it. Remy has desenzitized herself to the normal emotions of love because she stoped believing in it. Remy thinks love makes you weaker, and that people who fall in love are too vulnerable to geting broken in the end.
Throughout the novel Remy pities her mother. In the same way Barbara pities Remy. Remy thinks her mother is weak and vulnerable. She often wonders what her mom will do when Remy goes to college in the fall. As soon as Remy hears that the fifth marriage failed she immedietly thinks about her mother and how distraught she must be. Remy feels like she has to defend her mother. Remy tries to take control of the situation, she springs into action ready to call the lawyer and freeze the bank account, but Barbara stops her. Barbara is okay. While Remy focuses on another failure, Barbara tells her that shes okay. For Barbara, marriage wont last forever, but forever isn't important to her anymore she just cares about the love they had. Remy finally realizes that love is about the happy times and the sad times, literally for better and for worse. Remy realizes after all these years of feeling sorry for her mother really she was the one missing out. Love doesnt
Everything has Changed
A consistent theme in the novel is that true love changes everything. Remy first sees it in Jennifer Anne and Chris because once Chris starts dating her everything has changed in him, he is no longer a unsophisticated mess, he becomes more cultured and put together but retains his fun self, making him a better person. Remy first experiences this change when she meets Dexter, her friends see her soften and let her defenses down. She learns that true love makes you stronger and truly does change everything.
"Everything Has Changed"
(duet with Ed Sheeran) [Taylor Swift] All I knew this morning when I woke Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before. And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago Is green eyes and freckles in your smile In the back of my mind making me feel right [Taylor Swift] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now [Both] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you [Both] 'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello." And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door You'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday is everything has changed [Ed Sheeran] And all my walls stood tall painted blue And I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you [Taylor Swift (Album version) / Ed Sheeran (Remix version):] And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies The beautiful kind, making up for lost time, [Album version:] Taking flight, making me feel right [Remix version:] Taking flight, making me feel right like [Both] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you [Both] 'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello." And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door And you'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday is everything has changed Come back and tell me why I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh. And meet me there tonight And let me know that it's not all in my mind. [Taylor Swift] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you [Both] All I know is we said, "Hello." And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door You'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday is everything has changed [Taylor Swift] All I know is we said, "Hello." So dust off your highest hopes All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed All I know is a new found grace All my days I'll know your face All I know since yesterday is everything has changed Lyrics from AZlyrics.com |
The theme that true love changes everything is the main theme of this song and the book. I will explain phrase by phrase how the song parallels the book.
When Remy finally realizes at the end of the book that she needs to be with Dexter she learns that true love really does exist which is something she didn't know before. During their break Remy doesn't feel right because she doesn't even realize it but she misses him. So when they are together something just feels right Once they start dating she enjoys being at his house and with the band learning all the little things about him. Their first encounter starts off with a simple introduction but then it changes everything because Remy doesn't know it but this encounter is the beginning of their relationship which will change everything she knows. Holding the door in the song could also relate to Dexter driving her home after the wedding. Either way Dexter changes Remy even from the first day. The walls are like the rules Remy sets for herself because they restrict how much she allows herself to love, but she lets her rules go when she lets Dexter come in. The butterflies in the stomach feeling is like the first time Remy has ever felt true love and they are making up for lost time because she has wasted so many relationships without even trying for love. Another reason everything has changed is that even during the breakup his attempt to still be friends is unlike any other relationship she's had because the reason it is hard for them to be friends is because they really still love each other deep down. At the end of their break right before they get back together Remy realizes she has to get Dexter back because he is the first relationship she has missed once it was over. This last Stanza is the most important, the dusting off your highest hopes means the love won't necessarily be perfect. like Barbara told Remy. The pouring rain compares to how all she has known about love before is the failures but now she sees what real love can be. The new found grace is the forgiveness available in true love where little things don't matter. And by saying all my days I'll know your face means that no matter what happens she could never forget Dexter since he was her first experience with real a real relationship. |